Read-Connect-Reflect #29
Read
Forget having it all. Let’s try having enough (Time)
In this article, Samhita Mukhopadhyay questions the pervasive myth of “having it all”. She encourages us, instead, to ask whether we have enough:
“Asking women what it means to have enough in their lives does run the risk of suggesting that women settle for less, something we are already expected to do. Women’s ambitions regularly face barriers at work: bad parental leave policy, unequal pay for equal or better work, and no pathway to promotion. If we stop fighting and trying so hard, will it turn back the clock on women’s progress?
Not if we all do it together. What if instead of striving to “have it all” (and in turn, do it all) we started to ask if we have enough? What if we took an internal journey to reassess what it means to be ambitious and what success ultimately look like in each of our humble lives [emphasis added]. What if we, together, said “I have enough, I don’t need or want anything else.”
Post-vacation blues? Here’s how to cope (Harvard Business Review)
Earlier this week, I was meeting with a client who just returned from vacation. Though she described having a great time away—spending quality time with her kids, catching up with extended family, finding time to read that book she was excited about—her affect seemed flat. When I pointed out the disconnect, she told me, “Everything was truly great, but this week back has been such a nightmare that it almost doesn’t seem worth it”.
Transitioning back to the office after time away is common, influenced by travel exhaustion, unfulfilled relaxation, and the stark contrast between vacation freedom and work stress. To regain momentum, the author of this article suggests bracing yourself for an initial rough reentry—schedule meetings strategically (maybe that meeting with that one colleague you can’t stand for the end of the week), use your first day back to catch up on small, manageable tasks, and find time to reconnect with enjoyable aspects of your job. Resist the impulse to take on any additional commitments right away
Companies are touting women in the C-suite – but their ranks are falling (BBC)
Despite the considerable lip-service given to DEI and gender equity in the workplace over the past several years, it’s extremely disappointing to read that—for the first time in over a decade—women’s representation among all senior leadership positions in the U.S. declined.
It’s particularly baffling when you consider that companies that rated in the top 25% for gender diversity were 25% more likely to have superior financial returns (for companies in the top 25% of racial and ethnic diversity, the financial return jumped to 36%!).
Will the Paris Olympics be the friendliest yet for competing moms? (Washington Post)
My kids are so excited for the start of the Olympics tomorrow—and I’m excited to read about the changes being made to accommodate the badass moms (and dads!) competing. For the first time ever, there will be a nursery in the Olympic Village (historically reserved for only athletes and staff—no families), allowing athletes to spend more time with their young children. Additionally, The French National Olympic and Sports Committee will be providing dedicated, private space for breastfeeding athletes. This kind of high-profile change is great for working parents in all industries!
Goodbye, work friends (NY Times)
I will always read what Roxanne Gay has to write, but I particularly loved her sign-off after four years of writing the Work Friend column for the Times. It’s well-worth your time to read the entire article (the link above is a gift link, in case you don’t have a subscription), but I’ll excerpt the final paragraph here:
In “The Writing Life,” Annie Dillard says: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour and that one is what we are doing.” Every moment, of every day, we are spending our finite lives. As a new, fiercely intelligent and wise Work Friend takes over this space, my hope for all of you is to be given the grace of spending your finite life, both professionally and personally, without compromise.
Ditto.
BONUS: The Parenting Project: Making It Easier For Working Parents with Jessica Wilen, PhD (The Mindshare Podcast)
I recently sat down with Liana Slater, host of The Mindshare Podcast, to talk about this newsletter, my coaching philosophy, and my own journey as a working mother. Give it a listen and let me know what you think!
Connect
In the spirit of last week’s article Stop saying "yes" when you want to say "no", I’d like to issue a challenge to you. For the next two weeks, keep a list of all the things you say “no” to.
One of my clients wanted to try this and she found that keeping track appealed to her competitive side. After a few days, she realized her list was pretty puny so she felt compelled to up her “no” game. Plus, writing it all down gave her a sense of having accomplished something. For another client, it helped counter some of the unhelpful narratives she holds about how people will be mad at her, if she sets boundaries. She realized that she could say “no” and the world wouldn’t actually fall apart.
Try it for the next two weeks and see what differences you notice in your own life.
Reflect
My parents recently went to see the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. My mom was telling me how she was struck by the fact that the conductor, Marin Alsop, called up individual and small groups of performers to introduce and applaud their work—something she had never seen a conductor do before (that’s what happens when you put women in leadership roles!)
Taking Alsop’s example as a lead, I encourage you to think about the following questions:
When was the last time I publicly recognized the contributions of individual members on my team?
Whose work can I commit to elevating this next week? What is my plan for doing this?
How can I consistently remember to share credit with others?
Two of these really resonated with me: (1) asking myself what is "enough" and (2) planning for the chaos that is returning from vacation (with a 10-day vacation looming that I am both excited about and already panicking about the return). Thanks for sharing insightful pieces, as always.
Keeping track of “no” is an important thing. I might try it, especially when the school year ramps up.