Read-Connect-Reflect #30
Parents need to talk to their sons about care (Time)
When I worked on a college campus, I would often hear female undergraduates talk about how they would, one day, balance their careers with motherhood. Many were already choosing majors based on perceived flexibility in different fields. In all of the years I spent working at universities, I heard a male student talk about balancing his career with fatherhood one time. One time.
This article explains why parents need to have explicit conversations with their sons about caregiving, as girls already receive strong cultural messages about these responsibilities. It offers practical advice for initiating these discussions, such as choosing the right moment, linking to topics of interest, and stressing the importance of caregiving. The authors argue that intentional and ongoing conversations are crucial to shift gender norms and achieve greater equity in caregiving responsibilities.
We deserve a more nuanced conversation about working moms (Vox)
A recent European study challenged the notion that having children significantly contributes to the gender pay gap. The researchers found that while Danish women who used IVF initially faced a wage penalty after childbirth, this penalty diminished over time, and eventually, they even experienced a "child premium" in earnings compared to women who were unsuccessful with IVF. In short, the study suggests that the motherhood penalty might be less severe and more variable than previously thought, with factors like age, occupation, and educational attainment influencing outcomes.
If this is true, it would be a major finding. Of course, Denmark is a very different country than the US (with several policies that support working families), so it will be interesting to see how the academic literature evolves on this topic over time and across countries.
If you want to honor women's equality day, start by re-evaluating the performance feedback you give women at work (Entrepreneur)
Here’s a shocking statistic: “76% of top-performing women received negative feedback from their bosses compared to just 2% of top-performing men, and 88% of these same women also received feedback on their personalities. Only 12% of the men received similar feedback.”
Gender biases are baked into performance evaluation. What’s seen as “passionate” in a man is read as “emotional” in a woman. What’s seen as “firm” in a man is “bitchy” in a woman. Increasing awareness of these biases and creating a culture where they can be challenged is crucial to disrupting this pattern.
What do we really know about the maternal-mortality crisis? (The Atlantic)
You’ve probably heard that the US has one of highest maternal mortality rate in the developed world. But new evidence suggests that this isn’t actually true. This podcast delves deep into the issue.
It turns out that the implementation of a "pregnancy checkbox" on U.S. death certificates—intended to better count maternal mortality—led to overcounting deaths from other causes. A study of several states found that over a fifth of the recorded pregnancy-related deaths were false positives, including cases where the women weren’t even pregnant. While maternal mortality is a significant concern, the narrative shaped by flawed statistics could mislead policymakers and the public, diverting attention from other critical health issues.
Why you feel underappreciated at work (HBR)
Are you feeling undervalued? I appreciated that this thoughtful article offered both reflection questions (What story am I telling myself? Am I making unhelpful comparisons? Is my experience company-wide or industry-wide?) AND offers concrete suggestions for how to overcome common roadblocks.
For example, next time you’re tapped for a highly visible but non-promotable task (often community-building roles), say “I’d love to help with this work, but I have a lot on my plate right now. A big goal of mine is to build the skills I need to move up to the next level. Will this role contribute to those skills, or will it be discussed when promotion decisions are being made?”
Connect
Given that it’s the beginning of the school year, I wanted to share this article that includes concrete tips on how to connect with your child’s teacher in a meaningful way. One of my favorite suggestions is, ““This is what we’re doing to work on the problem. What else do you suggest?” I know in the past, I’ve asked teachers for shared language to talk about different issues, so we’re effectively bridging the gap at home.
Reflect
I recently came across this quote by James Clear:
The problem with smart people is they can come up with a good reason for not doing anything. They are smart enough to find the cracks, to foresee the challenges, and to talk themselves out of the idea. They are experts at justifying their lack of courage or lack of action with an intelligent excuse.
I see this so often with my clients—the tendency to overanalyze and, as a result, avoid taking action. Being able to foresee challenges and identify potential risks is a valuable skill, but it can also lead to “paralysis by analysis”. When you’re smart enough to see all the possible ways something might go wrong, it’s easy to convince yourself that inaction is the safer choice. However, this can prevent growth, innovation, and the pursuit of meaningful goals. With that in mind, I invite you to reflect on the following:
Am I more focused on avoiding failure than pursuing success?
How often do I find myself talking myself out of an idea or action because I can foresee potential challenges? What are the common reasons I use to justify inaction?
What would I do differently if I prioritized courage over caution? How can I start taking small, calculated risks to build my confidence in taking action?
