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Coree Brown Swan's avatar

Can I offer an alternative perspective on a list? I've got a high-travel job so am not physically present all the time, meaning that my husband does a higher share of the actual business of childcare. I tend to do the long-term strategising/planning and my husband does much of the doing (calling people, paying things, which I HATE). We joke brains versus brawns, but his contribution is way more substantive than the "I mow the lawn, I take out the bins..." trope.

I give him a list of 5 things, and voila, 2 days later, they are done. An added advantage, because he's the one chosing school lunches, doing the camp registration, etc, he's more engaged in the process + people call him before they call me, etc. I'm out and about more, so he puts things on my "errands" list for me to do.

I think the list is helpful if a) you have a relatively equitable division of labour and b) have a reliable co-parent who you can count on to do the important stuff on the list.

We also have a morning division of labour - he is responsible for preparation (snacks, dressing, toothbrushing) and I'm responsible for the delivery of the kid to school. I come downstairs when it's time to get on our bikes and cycle to school.

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Darcy's avatar

Jessica, as always thanks for sharing these thought-provoking articles and the hilarious comic about Santa. I immediately copied and pasted the reflection exercise into my Resolutions Google Doc, which is a running list of my resolutions since 2006. I love to do a reflection exercise at the end of each year and your questions are a great addition. Thank you.

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